AAAAGH!!! Writer jitters December 31, 2007
Posted by philangelus in writing.5 comments
The editor of MindFlights let me know the announcement about my book went up, and a preliminary page for the first chapter is around.
I’m having JITTERS.
I know the point of writing a story is to have people read it, but I always have this moment of terror when something is about to go live. The more I love it, the more jittery I become.
It’s not quite live yet. And it doesn’t help matters that the editor forwarded me a list of corrections to the story (all dumb typos — half of them probably included when I was fixing other dumb typos) so I feel like a klutz. (Not as much of a klutz as I’d have felt if they HADN’T caught 500 typos, by the way, so I’m glad for it.)
They’re finalizing the cover and such. This is for real. That’s scary. Neat, but scary.
Here: go look at the book’s website and come back here again in a while when I’ll post, with shaking hands, that the first chapter is actually live on the magazine.
angels and Christmas (or, excited angels) December 30, 2007
Posted by philangelus in angels, religion.3 comments
Interesting thought about the Christmas angels: they told the shepherds that they’d find the new baby lying in a manger.
Americans don’t really think too much about that. We’re used to putting babies in cribs. But back then, that wasn’t the case. The family bed was very much alive and well. A new mom (who at that point you can bet would be breastfeeding) would be tucked into bed with her newborn, and the baby would remain by her side.
This is my thought: the baby was born. It was pretty much just Mary and Joseph in that stable, and stables aren’t known for being clean. There may have been a midwife too, but really, it was just one or possibly two people trying to clean up the mom, sweep up the straw, chase away the rats (I mean, we’re talking about a stable) and clean up animal refuse. It didn’t smell really good, and in order to do this, they had to put the baby somewhere. The corn crib kept the baby up off the floor long enough for them to sweep up the used straw, pile it in a corner or outside, spread out new straw, and then put down a blanket for the new mom and baby couple to lie down.
How long would that have taken? Maybe half an hour?
The angels managed to tell the shepherds and get them there within that half hour time period.
To me, that says the angels were really, REALLY excited by this new baby boy. They were bursting to tell someone — anyone — and they had already told each other as many times as they could stand. So they went out to find people who were awake and bored enough to listen. Shepherds fit the bill. And they were close enough to show what the angels were so unbelievably excited about.
I just found that so neat, that angels would get excited about something enough to “jump the gun” and announce it so fast.
A Christmas cookie conundrum December 29, 2007
Posted by philangelus in angels, food.add a comment
My Patient Husband learned to make gingerbread cookies this Christmas. They’re really good. He looked at a bunch of recipes, got a feel for how it would work, then modified the recipe so we didn’t end up with your typical gingerbread cookie (ie, stiff enough that if you stick them in coffee for five minutes, they absorb all the coffee and are still so hard they send chips of teeth flying across the kitchen.) These are soft and yummy. He did good.
Am I posting to brag? Not as such. See, we didn’t have a gingerbread man cutout, so he and the Kiddos used our sugar cookie cutouts. One of which is an angel.
And I, a total wuss and somewhat sentimental due to pregnancy hormones, cannot eat the angels.
It just feels rude. I don’t know why that is, but it feels sinister and cruel. “I like you, Angel. I’ll eat you last.”
Kiddo#2 suggested I could start from the feet up if I felt bad biting off their heads, or wing-sideways. That sounded even worse. I know this is ridiculous because I don’t feel like a homicidal maniac when I eat a traditionally-shaped gingerbread man. It’s not an act of spite. It’s just a cookie.
Still, I can’t bring myself to eat them. So I go with the stars, the Christmas trees, and the snowpersons.
The angels in the household probably have no problem with this, or if they care, they’ve had a good laugh at my expense. (I hope so. The alternatives are too scary.)
Angel#1, sitting with mug of coffee that has a gingerbread human suspended upside-down by its arms against the lip of the cup.
Angel#2: What are you doing?
Angel#1: Waterboarding it.
Angel#2: Cookies can’t repent. They don’t sin.
Angel#1: You eat cookies your way and I’ll eat them my way, okay?
No, probably not. After all, as established many times on this weblog, angels don’t eat, and that’s completely ignoring the whole “Angels WOULDN’T DO THAT KIND OF THING” objection which I keep getting in the back of my head–and which, incidentally, my Patient Husband says as he reads over my shoulder.
Regardless, I still haven’t been able to bring myself to eat the angel cookies, and I avert my eyes when the Kiddos do it. Next year, I’m getting a real gingerbread man cutout, and I’m hiding the angel.
a Christmas moment: holding Jesus December 28, 2007
Posted by philangelus in pensive, religion.3 comments
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to post something this personal on my weblog, so I wrote this planning to leave it in drafts for a while. Maybe forever.
But then I shared it on an online group, and someone let me know she’d had exactly the same experience, so I figured I’d post. (more…)
I can post this now… December 26, 2007
Posted by philangelus in sarcasm, writing.5 comments
I had to wait until after Christmas to post this so no one thought it was a hint! 
This is the perfect gift for the writer in your life.
image belongs to signals.com
Fortunately for my loved ones, I really can’t insert them into novels about angels, so all you guys…no worries. You’re safe.
(Although I’ll give you a heads-up: I did insert myself into my novel. Let me know if you find me.)
Seriously funny 12 Days of Christmas December 25, 2007
Posted by philangelus in music.3 comments
Kiddo#1 was laughing so hard, he demanded I play it again. I’m worried about what happens if Kiddo#2 sees it.
Have a Merry Christmas!
NORAD Santa December 24, 2007
Posted by philangelus in family.add a comment
Just a little PSA: if your kids want to track Santa all over the globe on Christmas Eve so they can see as he gets closer, NORAD has a neat little website where they can hang out. You can also have them phone and speak to a live person at 1-877-Hi-NORAD
It’s updated about every half hour with new locations and “live video footage” of Santa and his sleigh in various cities around the world.
By the time I woke up, the Kiddos had already gotten my Patient Husband to show them the site. (Santa, BTW, had reached China.)
It’s a neat story how this got started. According to the website,
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The tradition began on Christmas Eve in 1955 after a Colorado Springs-based Sears Roebuck & Co. store advertisement for children to call Santa on a special “hotline” included an inadvertently misprinted telephone number. Instead of Santa, the phone number put kids through to the CONAD Commander-in-Chief’s operations “hotline.”
And apparently they thought this was so neat that they did, in fact, begin tracking Santa on his trip around the world.
I have a friend in the AirForce who volunteers for this every year, and she has a blast. Check it out!
The labyrinth December 24, 2007
Posted by philangelus in sarcasm.1 comment so far
Today I had the most incredible experience! I was moving swiftly forward down a narrow corridor, white walls extending high on either side, music sounding in my ears over a low rumbling hum. Ahead of me was a light. I drew inexorably forward toward the light, hoping to make it there, hoping, hoping—
Then it turned red, and I had to stop. Oh well.
You see, here in Angeltown, we’ve had far, far more snow than we normally get at this time of year, and it’s stayed cold between snow storms, so nothing has melted. And over time, it’s added up: eight inches here, four inches there, twelve inches next, two inches of ice–and there’s nowhere to put it all any longer!
On most of the major roadways, the snow plows have done their best to clear the pavement, but that leaves us with tall white walls on either side of the road. At intersections, you cannot see around the corners.
In essence, we’re driving in a labyrinth.
My Patient Husband, who has done the yeoman’s bulk of the driveway-clearing, tells me there’s a layer-cake effect going on out in our yard: a layer of snow, over a layer of dirt, over a layer of ice, over more snow, and so on down until you hit the frozen earth.
We’re looking at a few days of 40-degrees-plus, and what that’s good from a melting perspective, it’s less good from a visibility perspective. Because before those walls of snow get shorter, they’ll sublime straight into the air and cloud all of Angeltown with fog. So now, even if I could see around the corners, I couldn’t see anyhow.
Has this stopped me from driving? Not really, neither me nor the other tens of thousands of residents here. We’re hearty rugged versitile individuals, and since we’ve all remembered how to drive in snow, we now know we’re invulnerable. Can’t see? Not a problem. Can’t stop? We’ll do okay. Can’t start again after we’ve finally stopped? Eh.
Whenever it comes time to drive, I need to ask myself a question: do I need the better handlability of the Civic, or the height of the mini-van so I can see where I’m going?
Decisions, decisions.
I am a total chicken (or, Kiddo#2 saves my bacon) December 23, 2007
Posted by philangelus in kiddos, sarcasm.5 comments
*sigh*
I made little gift bags for the mailwoman and the UPS guy because both of them do a hero’s job at Christmas time. Just as an example, our mailwoman brought us 700 pounds of oranges and grapefruits, and then insisted that because I’m pregnant she would NOT put it in my arms or down in the front entrance, but rather carried it up the interior stairs and put it on my kitchen table.
As my family is far away, we get a LOT of packages whenever there are holidays or birthdays. So each one has a gift bag with a “thank you” gift. It’s not much. It’s hot chocolate, Andes candies, a couple of candy canes, and a card with ten bucks in it.
And every year, I turn chicken. I’m a total wuss about this kind of stuff. It wasn’t so bad with the mail carrier (I’d just leave it in the mailbox with the flag up, and he’d take it) but then Ed got reassigned and we ended up with two alternating mail carriers, one of whom is surly and only ever delivers flyers. I wanted to make sure “the good one” got hers, which meant handing it over. And the UPS guy has to get his in person.
So.
When the mailwoman arrived yesterday, Kiddo#2 came down the stairs excited, wanting to see what box we got. I thrust the gift bag into her hands and said, “Here!”
Perhaps I suspect in my heart of hearts that the mailwoman or the UPS guy will laugh in my face and thrust the gift bag back, or just think I’m a moron. But I know nobody would EVER laugh at Kiddo#2, so delighted to be giving a gift. And it worked: the mailwoman thanked her for it, and the Kiddo was proud.
One more to go.
PS: Three years ago, we had work done on our house, and it was over a hundred degrees. I had the brilliant idea of giving the contractors freezer pops when they were on lunch break, but I chickened out of that too. Once again, Kiddo#2 to the rescue. I brought her out to the guys with the freezer pops, and they all took one and thanked her. The next day, same temperature, I went out with them, and they all said no, not necessary. It’s the giver, not the gift. And I am a total chicken.
our house is infested December 22, 2007
Posted by philangelus in kiddos, sarcasm.6 comments
Diinzumo’s post on the critters attacking her house put me in mind of a horrible situation at the Philangelus house.
We are infested with socks.
Two of the three Kiddos are allergic to socks. Well, socks on their feet. They will occasionally become cats and wear socks on their hands all day, but keeping socks on their feet is akin to keeping a rodeo rider on a bull. In general, socks-without-shoes become bare-feet within fifteen seconds, sometimes in the time it takes between putting on socks and finding sneakers.
It started when they were babies and the socks simply didn’t stay on. Infant socks never do. We would joke about “shameful exposed piggies” and later talk about “decent covered piggies.” I guess the Kiddos have entered a state of rebellion now. Their indecent naked feet pad around the house with no regard for decorum.
Every room in the house will, if you look hard enough, turn up three discarded socks, usually half inside-out. These socks are always white because I don’t feel like pairing colorful socks (and even so, it’s amazing how I can find myself at the end of laundry day with nine unmatched white socks. Why? Because the mates are behind the couches, stuffed in the corners, beneath the bookcases, under the beds, and in the closets.)
The Kiddos will then put on new, different, clean socks when I tell them to put their socks back on because we’re going outside. They claim they “can’t find” their old socks, which I think ridiculous because, well, look around! There are feral socks roaming every room.
Two days ago, I ordered Kiddo#2 to go into every room and hunt for discarded socks. For her, it became a game. Kiddo#2, THE MIGHTY SOCK HUNTER!, collected two armloads.
Clearly I need to call in a professional. Either that or staple the socks to their feet. Until then, the sock infestation continues.
