A note to the Gatorade corporation

Kiddo#1 got sick to his stomach, and I gave him Gatorade. (Our generation got ginger ale; the generation before got Coke with the bubbles stirred out. I wonder what’s next in the lineup?)

We had two bottles in the house. I said, “Do you want red or blue?”

He asked what flavors those were. Red was “fruit punch.” Blue was…

“Cool Blue.” No, really.

Dear Gatorade Corporation:

It is with great sadness that I write to inform you that you have mixed up the concept of colors and flavors.

For example, “Blue” is a color. It is not a flavor. If I hand you a tasty treat and ask what it tastes like, you might tell me it is salty, sweet, fruity, savory or pineapplesque. Most likely you will not tell me it tastes Blue, Purple, Yellow or Gold.

(Note to self: write to Benjamin Moore Paint and let them know that “salmon,” “peach” and “champagne” are not colors.)

I know this is confusing because “orange” is both a flavor and a color. But it is the only one.

If you go into the grocery store and ask for a Pink, they will not be able to sell you anything.

In the future, please name your flavors for actual flavors rather than the box of Crayolas on your desk. Heaven help the day I wander down the drink isle to find “grey water” or “plaid.”

Sincerely,

The Philangelus Family

About philangelus

Mom, freelance writer, novelist, angelphile, Catholic, know-it-all.
This entry was posted in food, sarcasm. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to A note to the Gatorade corporation

  1. Cricket says:

    Hey, it’s truth in advertising! There’s not a shred of fruit (or vegetable or other food group) in the drink.

  2. Diinzumo says:

    Heh. You don’t have to buy grey water–you can get that out of your sink drain. 😉

    I’m with you, though. I’d be highly suspicious of anything that tasted “blue.”

  3. Ivy Reisner says:

    Synesthesia my dear.

  4. philangelus says:

    Gesundheit! 🙂

    (No, seriously, I never before considered the horrors of employing someone with synesthesia to name your food product flavors…)

  5. Pingback: weblog tour: colors/tastes « Seven angels, four kids, one family

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