Dunkin Donuts gets into the Lenten Spirit

I’m thrilled to spread the word that Dunkin Donuts is helping Christians to have a good Lent. In the wake of Advent’s “Locust and Wild Honey” flavored muffin, one of their Lenten offerings for 2008 is the Penitential Donut.

This offering is specially directed toward those living in the world but not of the world. Here you are, on Ash Wednesday, wanting to fast, yet you have a staff meeting in the morning. Your team leader always provides yummy donuts, and refusing your usual donut will create uncomfortable questions in the workplace, calling attention to your fast. Tough dilemma. Well, Dunkin Donuts has the solution.

Ash Donut

The Penitential Donut is made with no sugar and no oil, but plenty of whole-grain dust, and frosted with a thick coating of ashes. It is guaranteed that you will spend five minutes chewing every bite before being able to swallow it. With any luck, you may actually be chewing the same donut from Ash Wednesday until Good Friday. Instead of a paper napkin, it comes with a square of sack cloth.

Bring a Penitential Donut to work on Ash Wednesday or Good Friday, and as Jesus directed in Matthew 6:16, no one will notice that you are fasting, provided you don’t gag after your fourth minute of masticating.

For that extra dose of penance, they suggest you also avail yourself of an Ash Wednesday latte, brewed from the burnt coffee grounds remaining from last Palm Sunday.

Enjoy, and happy repenting!

About philangelus

Mom, freelance writer, novelist, angelphile, Catholic, know-it-all.
This entry was posted in sarcasm. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Dunkin Donuts gets into the Lenten Spirit

  1. Ivy says:

    Cute! I’m not sure it counts as fasting, but cute.

  2. Tanja Cilia says:

    The idea behind Dunkin’ Donuts is that you dunk them; so when you do, the ash dust gets to the bottom of the espresso (remember, no milk allowed, either) and you’re a little better off. You cannot have a latte, or a capucchino, or even a macchiato.

  3. Capt Cardor says:

    I can just see a Dunkin Donuts ad campaign for “Hole-y Donuts”. For Christmas an Advent Donut complete with candles. For Easter “Holy Cross Buns”.

    They will have to watch out for “Ash holes” with your donut, though.

  4. Pingback: And the point? Missed. Utterly. « Seven angels, four kids, one family

  5. Promise says:

    I went to Five Guys for lunch to indulge in a last-cheeseburger before Lent today. I’ve had heartburn ever since. I’m sure there’s a lesson there, but all I’m coming up with is that I should’ve gone to IHOP for pancakes and bacon instead.

  6. Pingback: Lent: I give up « Seven angels, four kids, one family

  7. Pingback: Quite possibly, an answer « Seven angels, four kids, one family

  8. monica says:

    Suddenly I’m not hungry anymore!

  9. Spencer says:

    haha reminds me of their “Man Does Not Live on Bread Alone” DD promo http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/dunkin-donuts/images/33683177/title/dunkin-donuts-fanart

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s