my favorite thing

Here’s a blast from the past to make up for yesterday’s mewling whining post: how I taught my toddler about bourbon.

On the way home from Angeltown, we listened to the soundtrack from The Sound of Music. (Thank you, Patient Husband, for the iTunes giftcard for Mother’s Day! This is one of the results.) When we got to “My Favorite Things,” it was halfway through the drive and the day had been long, and I was beat. So under my breath, I sang the parody that MFR had taught me back in college.

MFR belonged to the marching band, and he used to pass along their interesting takes on several songs. Here’s this one:

Bourbon and bourbon and bourbon and bourbon.
Bourbon and bourbon and bourbon and bourbon.
Bourbon and bourbon and bourbon and Coke:
These are a few of my favorite things!

The parody continues with a couple of lines I can’t remember, and then it concludes with, “I simply  remember my bourbon and Coke / And then I don’t feel….a thing!”

A long time ago, back when Kiddo#1 was only two and no other Kiddos had come onto the scene, I was a stupid mom. I never really thought about things like, “Hey, the kid is listening.” Because Kiddo#1 was speech-delayed, I never heard how he processed the things I said, so I naively assumed he wasn’t comprehending them at all. Hence my surprise in later years when I’d be pushing him through the grocery store in the cart, and he’d suddenly look me in the eye and say, “For the life of me, I cannot believe we would ever die for these sins. We were merely freshmen.”

Ah-heh. 

So there I was, in the kitchen nine years ago, when my Patient Husband came home, and Kiddo#1 came bouncing into the kitchen.

And he sang, “Bargain and bargain and Coke!”

He didn’t get the tune right. Not even close. But regardless, my Patient Husband shot me a rather imPatient look, and I flinched. Because it was completely obvious.

I don’t exactly remember what he said next, whether he said, “So, you and Mommy went shopping today?” but after that, I learned not to sing all the bad songs I know. 

At least not in front of the kids.

At least not when I think they can hear.

About philangelus

Mom, freelance writer, novelist, angelphile, Catholic, know-it-all.
This entry was posted in kiddos, music, sarcasm. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to my favorite thing

  1. ivyreisner says:

    Quoting back from your own story:

    Bourbon and bourbon and bourbon and bourbon, Bourbon and bourbon and bourbon and bourbon, Bourbon and bourbon and bourbon and Coke, These are a few of my favorite things!

    The Chief shuddered, either with horror or suppressed laughter. Princess had her eyes shut but wore a tremendous smile.

    When our class bites, When the school sucks, When the bell won’t ring,

    Mark added, “Jason starts to sing…” and got punched in the arm.

    I simply remember my bourbon and Coke, And then I don’t feel… A thing!

    The weird thing is, this has been running through my head for the last few days.

  2. philangelus says:

    I stole from *everything* when I wrote Scavengers.

    Funny that you were thinking about it at the same time I was.

  3. Pingback: My mouth got me in trouble « Seven angels, four kids, one family

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