an angel moment: language

Back in 2005, I said one night to my guardian angel, “If you could have me get rid of one sin, what would it be?”

I wouldn’t call myself a mystic by any means, but I could have sworn I heard the reply, “Only one?”

Along with the distinct sense he was laughing. Because yeah, there’s a whole lot to choose from if you want to play whack-a-mole with the sins that keep cropping up in my life.

In the middle of the night, I woke up and had a flash of understanding. Language. I needed to cut it out with the profanity.

Now, I’d tried before to get rid of the profanity, and I hadn’t been able to do it. I’ve sworn like a sailor since I was in fifth grade and Linda J. taught me how to say all sorts of things I never heard at home. It’s just so ingrained.

When the kids came along, I stopped saying them. Well, not saying them in front of the kids. But I’d still use them in email or in fanfic, or when I was talking with adults. Or driving alone in the car. And there’s no limit on how often you think nasty stuff. As my high school English teacher told me, there’s only so often you can sin with your body, but you can sin with your brain all day long.

That morning I woke up and went cold-turkey on the bad words. I knew how to do it and what to do, and for some reason, this time it stuck. I couldn’t substitute swear words. I couldn’t think the words.

I also had to give up reading online forums that had a ton of profanity (**sob** I miss Customers_Suck) because the words really needed to not be getting into my head either.

It was like an exercise program, only for the soul. And I woke up with this program ready-made and understood by me. All I had to do was stick to it.

I have to figure the angel spent the entire night on his knees and called in every debt he ever had to get this for me. It has to have been a grace, because the swearing pretty much stopped on a dime. And I have to say, I’m glad for it.

I know you were expecting my angel-stories to be things like “A stranger came and pushed me out of the way of an oncoming car” (I actually have one like that, and someday I’ll post it) but I think this is actually more life-changing than “Hey, dude, I saved your life.” This was more like, “Hey, dude, your soul was filthy, and I stopped you from heaping more dirt on it.” And from the view of eternity, I think that’s more important.

But tomorrow, come back for something with flash and a high “oh COOL!” factor.

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About philangelus

Mom, freelance writer, novelist, angelphile, Catholic, know-it-all.
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