Due to negligent parenting, my daughter has eaten two Happy Meals in the last three weeks, and each of these contained a half-length CD of Kids Bop.
Each contains four pop songs, sung by kids or by young adults who sound like the original artists, plus the Kids Bop anthem.
Can someone explain this to me? Because as far as I’m concerned, they’ve retained all the negatives of pop music while simultaneously removing any element that rendered these songs musically interesting.
I doubt the producers’ lofty goal was to drive my children into the arms of Mozart, so what’s the deal? Talk to me here. Help me understand why on earth anyone would deliberately spend money in order to obtain a CD of the same crap we can hear on pop radio (and which, I might add, I do whenever we’re in the car) with the good vocals and the cool guitar-playing stripped out.
I could understand if the music had been bowdlerized in order to remove the offensive elements. But as far as I can tell, the lyrics remain the same. I also would understand if the music had been hand-selected in order to remove elements that are unsuitable for children, but again, the selection seems to be filled with the same nihilism you’ll find on regular pop radio. Plus, the lyrics involve things children don’t ordinarily do (such as driving a car) and yet there are children singing them.
I said to my Patient Husband, “Children shouldn’t be that cynical,” which I’m afraid made my guardian angel, companion from my youth, laugh out loud. Because along with my novel, I wrote the book on being a cynical child.
Therefore, talk to me: explain this travesty to me.
(And for the record — pun intended — I offered my daughter the real versions of any song she found attractive off these two CDs. The only good thing I can say about them is that they aren’t The Collected Songs Of Hank The Cowdog. But that’s the only thing.)
Edited to add: someone has informed me that the lyrics DO get changed, but since this is mostly a family-friendly weblog, I won’t put the specific lyric changes here. But apparently there are songs where the term commonly used for a breeding female dog is replaced with “girl,” and “PMS” gets changed to “change your mind.” Which in a way makes the whole deal seem more sketchy, not less, to me.